"Satan's Beatitudes"

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1.Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians,
they are my best workers.

2.Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked--I can use them.

3.Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church--they are my missionaries.

4.Blessed are the troublemakers--they shall be called my children.

5.Blessed are the complainers--I'm all ears to them.

6.Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes--for they get nothing out of their sermons.

7.Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church--for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8.Blessed are those who gossip--for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9.Blessed are those who are easily offended--for they will soon get angry and quit.

10.Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work--for they are my helpers.

11.Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister--for he shall be with me forever!

12.Blessed are you who, when you read this, think it is about other people and not yourself--I've got you too!